Closing An Open Book

“I don’t like to share my personal life. It wouldn’t be personal if I shared it.”

George Clooney

I’ve always been an open book. I have nothing to hide so why not share my every thought and decision with those around me? While there’s nothing wrong with this, I haven’t felt quite so open lately. 

These days it seems like a good idea to keep my thoughts to myself. No one can know everything about you and so sometimes when you share certain things with others; it can come across differently than you anticipated. Whether we like it or not everyone judges us. So only expose the parts of your life that you are comfortable with being judged and keep the rest to yourself. Some things should stay between you and God!

To most people it probably doesn’t seem like a big deal, but for me it feels so different; in a good way. Like Mr. Clooney said, some things need to be kept personal. These are the things that should be kept near and dear to your heart….and your heart only. 

People often say they just want to be alone with their thoughts. I think that's a lovely idea!

He's Just Not That Into You If...

My life has forever been changed. In the past two days I have read two books. These books have offered more insight and wisdom than I ever thought I could absorb in a decade, let alone 4-5 hours. He's Just Not That Into You & It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken.

If you are single and you have not read these books, then shame on you! Actually I completely understand. A good friend has been trying to get me to read these books for a couple of years now. I kept saying I would when I found the time. I found the time to read several other books, however, I avoided these two in particular. Why, you ask. Well for one I was scared. I knew what these books were going to say. They were going to validate all those thoughts that I kept in the back of mind. They were going to tell me that I was wasting my time on the wrong guys and that I needed to just let go and move on. Guess what....I was right.

The one thing I was wrong about though was how this realization would make me feel. I thought I would feel defeated, sad, mad and lonely. Not true. I feel empowered with this new found knowledge! I now know the signs to look for early on so that I can dump these guys before I become too attached to let go without agonizing over the decision for 6-8 months. Wow, think of all the time I'm going to save! You don't call when you say you will....I guess I wasn't on your mind. You don't do what you say you are going to....well you're an asshole. You only want to see me when you are drunk/don't want to get married/think maybe we should take a break/disappeared for days with no phone call or text/are dating other people....well I guess you just aren't that into me. And that's OK, because I'm not that into you either.

Whenever you are feeling confused or weak, just remember this. Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

Third time's a charm....or is it?

Maybe getting over someone you’re in love with isn’t impossible. Unless, maybe you don’t actually get over it. Maybe you just learn to live with it. - Felicity

 

Some people learn from their mistakes. Some people learn from other’s mistakes. And some people never learn from any mistakes. I am someone who learns from my mistakes after making the mistake a minimum of three times. You know the saying “third time’s a charm”; well I guess I just want to be sure. 

I read somewhere that once your heart gets broken you sort of see the cracks in everything.  At this moment that feels so real.  Recently I thought, finally…everything is finally falling perfectly into place. It was a great feeling. You know what wasn’t a great feeling? When nothing fell into place and everything fell apart.

They say hindsight is 20/20 and I usually believe that to be true. In this case it’s more like 40/40. I’m not completely blind, but I still don’t see things clearly. Hopefully the haze will soon fade.

Single, White, (Desperate?), Female

Online dating. It is a great concept, but not always a great experience. There are the websites that come with a cost (and that cost isn't cheap) and then there are the free sites. Unfortunately, what I've come to find is that the same guys are on both. Which means I've been wasting lots of money and it's slim pickings out there.

I have strategies that I use to get guys to email me first. No I'm not old fashioned, but being rejected online is just not my thing. So, I visit the guys page so that he will see I at least looked. Looking once just means I checked him out, so I look twice, maybe even three times. After he sees I have visited his page three times he is likely to think, hey maybe she is trying to decide if she is interested..I should probably email her and find out! Or he is thinking, I wish this psycho would move on, but of course I will never know and therefore never feel rejected!

The last guy I met online seemed pretty normal. On our first date we met for drinks and had plenty to talk about. On our second date he introduced me to his parents. Too much, too fast. However, that wasn't the only issue I had with him. He had two topics he liked to talked about...yes, only two. Number one was his desire to get married and have children and number two was how much and how often he liked to get drunk. 

Previous encounters with guys I have met online have ended similarly. One guy looked nothing like his pictures and said he forgot to update his age, which was off by 5 years. Another guy had two warrants for his arrest and stalked me for weeks after our "relationship" ended. I did meet one guy online who I was convinced was the one. However, 8 months later I found out I was not the one, but I was two...as in his second girlfriend. He was dating two girls at once. 

So basically, online dating is a risky adventure. You might meet your prince charming along the way, but if not, you'll have lots of stories to entertain your married friends!