It’s almost January 1, 2013. That time of year when everyone
makes their New Year’s resolutions. New year, new beginning, right?
While I do follow in the tradition, I’ve always felt more
compelled to make some life changing decisions on my birthday. The day I begin
a new year at a new age seems like the right time to me. However, this year’s birthday
was such a horrible day, a blur, and all because of a guy. The same guy who has
caused 90% of all of my bad days over the past 22 months. After all this
though, can I really blame him? I let him do these things to me. I let him back
in my life time and time again. I am the only one to blame.
For this reason my New Year’s resolution is to leave the
past (him) in the past. I don’t like who I’ve become with him. So, I’m going to
work hard to become the person I was before the person someone else made me be.
It won’t be easy letting him go. Not easy at all. But it’s
time. The hardest part is the pain and sadness. The only thing to ease that
pain and sadness is the same thing that causes it…..him. I need to face life
without him. Without seeing him, without hearing his voice, without reading his texts. Life completely void of him.
I know
for most people, it’s hard to understand. It’s hard to see why someone would
allow this to happen. They say, why is it so hard to just let go and move on? Well, this
quote by Edna St. Vincent Millay says it all.
“Where you used to be there is a hole in the world, which I
find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night. I
miss you like hell.”
That, is exactly why it's so hard.
PS...Hi McKenna & Logan
